My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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