Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
