Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
