There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
