Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"

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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...

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(760): View more from California

i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!

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