I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
