You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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