check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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