So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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