Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i came on her dog
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
