Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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