Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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