what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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