Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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