Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
