Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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