Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
