I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize