Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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