Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
