Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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