we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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