When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
