He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
