So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
