she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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