She's JV to your varsity
oh god the rape fog is back!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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