I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
