i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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