As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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