I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
