there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
