I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
