hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
