they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The air taste purple.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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