You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
