I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
