Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
