Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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