forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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