She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
