There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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