this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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