I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
