can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
3 2 1 whiskey
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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