hotel room ftw
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
