i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
