His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
