hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
