you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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